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-=[ Why did the chicken cross the road]=-

 [ << ] Chicken: Star Trek (26b) [ >>
Why did the chicken cross the Road ?

Harvey Mudd: Chicken? I don't remember any chicken. No no no, there's been a terrible misunderstanding.

The Grand Nagus: Stupid chicken! You don't cross the road all at once! You sneak across it quietly, without anyone noticing!

Neelix: Actually, Captain, I'm not really familiar with the chickens in this system. But, if you can catch it, I can cook it.

Seven of Nine: It didn't want to be human.

Nog: To try to get to Starfleet Academy, sir.

O'Brien: (1) No problem, Commander, I'll get right on it.
(2) Well, it's nothing a good pint or two won't fix.

Odo: (1) I don't know, but I'm sure it must be Quark's fault.
(2) I don't have the slightest idea--and I don't particularly care...but then, I've never understood you ornithoids' need to engage in such pointless behavior.

Paris: Well, I think that...say, that's a lovely shirt you're wearing.

Jean-Luc Picard: (1)To see what's out there.
(2) Because it's shields were down and it had no other options left..
(3) Dammit, that's not for us to answer! It's his fundamental right as a sentient being to determine the time and manner by which he travels towards his goals!
(4) There are four lights!

Q: Wouldn't you like to know? Too bad your puny human brain wouldn't be able to comprehend the answer.

Quark: (1) Now really, why would I have bribed him to do it so I could make a tidy profit in the station pool? Besides, all I know is that chicken tastes just like tube grubs.
(2) Who, me?

Riker: I don't know why, but I know how: with pleasure, sir.

Gene Roddenberry: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Sarek: (1) I don't care why it was crossing the road! All I want to know is why it left the coop! So it wanted to "get to the other side"--there is only so far that my tolerance will go!
(2) It was seeking deeper meaning. Jake, do you see what we've learned from all this?
(3) Sometimes logic fails me where chickens are concerned.

Scotty: (1) Because she couldna take much morrrrrre.
(2) 'Cos ma wee transporter beam was na functioning properly. Ah canna work miracles, Captain!

Seven of Nine: Obviously... it became... separated from the collective.

Sisko: It was seeking deeper meaning. Jake, do you see what we've learned from all this?

Dr. Soran: His heart just wasn't in it. (Scenes of chicken torture with nanoprobes have been edited out.)

Spock: (1) Fasincating, Captain, it seems driven by a beam of pure energy.
(2) It is not logical, Captain.
(3)It was not logical for the chicken to do so, but I have frequently observed that the behaviour of chickens is not logical

Sulu: (1)Don't call me Tiny!
(2)To get back to San Franciso; it was born there. Tasha: That depends...was it fully functional?

Troi: (1)I feel the chicken's pain!
(2) It was running...running away from...no, escaping...oh,
(3) It felt a great yearning to cross the road.

Tuvok: That's not a question we'd prefer to hear from a senior officer. It makes the junior officers nervous.

Uhura: Shall I open hailing frequencies so you can ask it, sir?

V'Ger: To join with the Creator.

Wesley: I'm not sure, but I can figure it out if I reroute these systems and reconfigure the warp field and run a complete internal whootchacallit on the computers and...

Worf: (1) I do not know. Klingon chickens do not cross roads.
(2) I do not know sir, But I recommend we fire a full complement of photon torpedos.
(3) Given the eminent warp core breach, it was the only logical decision
(4) Give the Prime Directive, if a cultural imperative exists on this planet that compels chickens to cross the road, we must not interfere.

Charlie X: Because it didn't want to stay...stay...stay...

[ Stan Kegel, kegel@fea.net ]

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