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-=[ Why did the chicken cross the road]=-

 [ << ] Chicken: Fictional Characters(21b) [ >>
Why did the chicken cross the Road ?

Galahad: It was sworn to chastity.... but I think I can stay a bit..

Gandalf: O chicken, do not meddle in the affairs of roads, for you are tasty and good with barbecue sauce.

Gordon Gekko (Wall Street): For greed. The point is, ladies and gentlemen, that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works.

Dirk Gently (Holistic Detective): I'm not exactly sure why, but right now I've got a horse in my bathroom.

Joe Gideon: It's showtime, folks!

Frank Bunker Gilbereth:To minimize its therbligs

Gilligan: The traffic started getting rough; the chicken had to cross. If not for the plumage of its peerless tail the chicken would be lost. The chicken would be lost! (sing that one)

Holly Golightly: You know those days when you get the mean reds? Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Well, when I get it the only thing that does any good is to cross the road and go to Tiffany's. Calms me down right away.

The Great Gonzo: Camilla, come back!

Sir Charles Grandiose: As surely as the golden hairs turn to silver, as surely as the sands drift silently through the slender neck of the hourglass, the last sunny days of summer flee soundlessly under autumn's chilly embrace. And with those last days of that warmest and most joyful of seasons, left the road's edge the sprightliest young chicken ever a Baronet did see

Hercules Gryptyppe-Thynne, (All-around Public-School Cad): That's not a chicken! It's a clever disguise, inside of which is Count Jim "Thighs" Moriarity ...

Forrest Gump: My Mama always says, "stupid is what stupid does."

Hamlet: (1) Because 'tis better to suffer in the mind the slings and arrows of outrageous road maintenance than to take arms against a sea of oncoming vehicles.
(2) To cross or not to cross? That is the question.

Queen of Hearts: It doesn't matter. Off with its head.

Hobson: He had no choice.

Sherlock Holmes: Elementary, my dear Watson. She was chased across by a nine-month old white Persian with a broken tail and a rose thorn in its right forepaw.
(2) It crossed the road because it was going to catch a train at Victoria Station at 3:15, to Edinburgh. And how did I know that? Observe, Watson, the patina of dust on the chicken's feathers, which indicates that it had been spending time in a library, reading about Scotland. And observe also that it was humming "Bonnie Lassie" as it waited to cross. Finally, and most important, observe the train ticket marked Edinburgh, stuffed under one wing, and the fact that Victoria station was where the chicken crossed the street, and finally that the only train to Edinburgh this afternoon is the 3:15....

Avram Infeld: My dear, you are most beautiful! Let's discuss this question over dinner ...

My Friend Irma: The light must have been green.

Jack: It was a goose and it crossed to lay a golden egg.

Dr. Jekell: She hadn't been feeling herself lately.

Indiana Jones: Fortune and glory, kid. Fortune and glory.

Charles Foster Kane: Rosebud ... Rosebud ...

Col. Kilgore: "I love the smell of chickens in the morning"

Dr. Richard Kimble: To find the one-winged rooster who killed his hen.

Lancelot: To perform a dashing and heroic rescue!

Law and Order:

Brisco: For A Bagel

Logan: To buy a plaid tie

Ben Stone: Because the defendant made it, sir.

Leda: Are you sure it wasn't Zeus dressed up as a chicken? He's into that kind of thing, you know.

Dr. Hannibal Lector: So I could eat its liver, with some fava beans and a nice chianti ... thththththththth.

Foghorn Leghorn: To get to that damn Dawg, Boah!

Chicken Little: The sky fell

Dave Lister: Because of the smegging space corps directives.

Lazarus Long: Being adventurous is inborn; being complacent is a learned perversity. No resemblance--

Cool Hand Luke: What we have here is a failure to communicate.

[ Stan Kegel, kegel@fea.net ]

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