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| [ << ] | You aren't cool if ... | [ >> ] |
| You know you've lost your status of "Cool" when:
- You find yourself listening to talk radio.
- You daughter says she got pierced and you look at her ears.
- The pattern on your shorts and couch match.
- You fondly remember your powder blue leisure suit.
- Your wife buys a flannel nighty and you find that sexy.
- You think "Tragically Hip" is when a middle-aged man gets a new sports car, hair piece and a 20 year old girlfriend.
- You criticize the kids of today for their satanic suicide-inducing music, forgetting that you rocked to Alice Cooper and Black Sabbath.
- You call the police on a noisy party next door instead of grabbing beer and joining them.
- You turn down free tickets to a rock concert because you have to work the next day.
- When grass is something that you cut, not cultivate.
- When jogging is something you do to your memory.
- Rocking all night means dozing off in your rocking chair. Sex becomes "all that foolishness."
- Getting a little action means your prune juice is working.
- All the cars behind you turn on their headlights.
- You remember the Rolling Stones as a rock group, not a corporation.
- You bought your first car for the same price you paid for your son's new running shoes.
- You actually ASK for your father's advice.
- You don't know how to operate a fax machine or a VCR.
- When someone mentions SURFING you picture waves and a surf board.
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