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-=[ Redneck, Southern Jokes]=-

 [ << ] Redneck Census Form [ >>
   Last name: ________________
   (Check appropriate box)
   First name:                    First name:
 
   [_] Billy-Bob                  [_] Bobby-Sue
   [_] Billy-Joe                  [_] Bobby-Jo
   [_] Billy-Ray                  [_] Bobby-Ann
   [_] Billy-Sue                  [_] Bobby-Lee
   [_] Billy-Mae                  [_] Bobby-Ellen
   [_] Billy-Jack                 [_] Bobby-Beth Ann Sue
 
   Age: ____ (if unsure, guess)
   Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ Not sure
   Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right
   Occupation:
   [_] Farmer                     [_] Mechanic
   [_] Hair Dresser               [_] Waitress
   [_] Un-employed                [_] Dirty Politician
 
   Spouse's Name:         __________________________
   2nd Spouse's Name:      __________________________
   3rd Spouse's Name:      __________________________
   Lover's Name:          __________________________
   2nd Lover's Name:      __________________________
 
   Relationship with spouse:
   [_] Sister                     [_] Aunt
   [_] Brother                    [_] Uncle
   [_] Mother                     [_] Son
   [_] Father                     [_] Daughter
   [_] Cousin                     [_] Pet
 
   Number of children living in household:        ___
   Number of children living in shed:     ___
   Number of children that are yours:     ___
 
   Mother's Name: _______________________
   Father's Name: _______________________(If not sure, leave blank)
 
   Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
 
   Do you [_] own or [_] rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box)
 
   Vehicles you own and where you keep them:
   ___ Total number of vehicles you own
   ___ Number of vehicles that still crank
   ___ Number of vehicles in front yard
   ___ Number of vehicles in back yard
   ___ Number of vehicles on cement blocks
 
   Firearms you own and where you keep them:
   ____ truck             ____ kitchen
   ____ bedroom           ____ bathroom
   ____ shed
 
   Model and year of your pickup: _____________ 194_
 
   Do you have a gun rack?
   [_] Yes [_] No; If no, please explain:
 
   Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
   [_] The National Enquirer   [_] The Globe
   [_] TV Guide                [_] Soap Opera Digest
   [_] Rifle and Shotgun
 
   ___ Number of times you've seen a UFO
   ___ Number of times you've seen Elvis
   ___ Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO
 
   How often do you bathe:
   [_] Weekly
   [_] Monthly
   [_] Not Applicable
 
   How many teeth?        ___
   Color of teeth:
   [_] Green             [_] Brownish-Yellow
   [_] Brown              [_] Black
   [_] N/A
 
   Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
   [_] Red-Man
 
   How far is your home from a paved road?
   [_] 1 mile
   [_] 2 miles
   [_] don't know 

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