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-=[ Redneck, Southern Jokes]=-

 [ << ] Yankees moving south [ >>
Advice for Yankees moving to the South

1. Save all bacon grease. You will be instructed on how to use it later.

2. Just because you can drive in snow and ice does not mean we can. The two days of the year it does snow, please stay home.

3. If you happen to run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of Bud will be along shortly with a tow chain. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

4. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and fishing bait in the same store.

5. Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.

6. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here are you?"

7. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.

8. Remember that Northeners can be identified by the spit on the inside of their windshield that comes from yelling at other drivers.

9. If you are yelling at the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone, directly in the middle of the road, remember, many folks learned to drive on a model of vehicle known as John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for said vehicle.

10. If you hear a Southerner yell, "Hey, y'all watch this!" Move to an area a safe distance away, because these are likely the last words he will ever say.

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