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-=[ Redneck, Southern Jokes]=-

 [ << ] Rules of The South [ >>
1. Don't order a steak at a Waffle House. They serve breakfast 24 hours a day. Let them cook something they know. And don't assume that Waffle House grits are any more typical of grits in the Righteous South than McDonald's represents your best California dinner.

2. Don't laugh at folk's names. Merleen, Bodie, Luther Ray, Bobby Sue, MaryBeth and Inez have been known to whip a man's ass for less than that.

3. Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda; this can lead to a beating. Down here it's called Coke, even if you want a Pepsi.

4. Southern women don't fancy to smart mouth Yankees. Just remember, they all have brothers and daddies. And when they call you a Yankee it's NOT a compliment.

5. Don't show allegiances to any other school in football other than an ACC or SEC team. All the others are a bunch of candy asses who play Wyoming every week.

6. Don't call us a bunch of hillbillies. Many of us are better educated than you and a whole lot nicer to boot. And more modest.

7. Yes, we know the humidity is high; just quit bitching, spend your money and go home.

8. No, the state symbol of North Carolina is not the orange and white highway barrel. This road construction is pissing us off too.

9. Don't go to the Cracker Barrel and order toast. If you do this everyone will know you're from Ohio. Just eat the biscuits like God meant for you to do.

10. Don't try to talk with a Southern accent if you don't have one. Nothing makes us madder than a Southern wannabe.

11. Don't be telling everybody how much better it was back home. If you don't like it here, get your sorry ass back home! {There's a popular bumper sticker in the Carolinas that reads 'We don't care how you did it up north.'}

12. We don't play lacrosse or none of them other sissy northern games, so don't be asking about no scores, cause we just don't care.

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