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-=[ Redneck, Southern Jokes]=-

 [ << ] Might Be A Redneck 5 [ >>
367 Reasons You Might Be A Redneck (part 5)

201. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there is a law against it.

202. You celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.

203. Your kid takes a siphon hose to show-and-tell.

204. You've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado.

205. You fish in your above-ground pool. . . and catch something.

206. When a sign that says "Say No To Crack!" reminds you to pull up your jeans.

207. Your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.

208. Getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.

209. Your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.

210. You dated your daddy's current wife in high school.

211. You're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing "I Will Always Love You".

212. You grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.

213. Your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center. (Clinton true-life story)

214. The most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection (your insurance man is a redneck too if he pays you for it).

215. You have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

216. You've ever hit a deer with your car...deliberately.

217. You can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.

218. Your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.

219. Exxon and Sunoco have offered you royalties for your hair.

220. Your dad is also your favorite uncle.

221. Your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.

222. During your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

223. You're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.

224. On your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.

225. Your parakeet knows the phrase "Open up, Police!"

226. You saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting.

227. In tough situations you ask yourself, "What would Curly do?"

228. Taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

229. You think the last words to the Star Spangled Banner are "Play Ball..."

230. You have a color coordinating rope that ties down your car hood.

231. You bring your dog to work with you.

232. Your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

233. You've ever held somebody up with a caulk gun.

234. You have every episode of "Hee Haw" on tape.

235. Your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather.

236. Your masseuse uses lard.

237. Your wife's best shoes have steel toes.

238. You use your fishing license as a form of I.D.

239. On stag night, you take a real deer.

240. You use a '55 Chevy as a guest house.

241. Your back porch is bigger than your house.

242. There is more oil in your cap than in your car.

243. You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.

244. A full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.

245. An expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall.

246. You think Old Yeller is a movie about your brother's tooth.

247. You watch Little House on the Prairie for decorating tips.

248. Your secret family recipe is illegal.

249. Your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.

250. Your baby's favorite teething ring is the garden hose in the front yard.

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