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-=[ Redneck, Southern Jokes]=-

 [ << ] Might Be A Redneck 2 [ >>
367 Reasons You Might Be A Redneck (part 2)

51. The flood history of the area can be seen on your living room walls.

52. You haul more than U-Haul.

53. Your momma has ever stomped into the house and announced, "The feud is back on!"

54. There is a gun rack on your bicycle.

55. Your wedding was held in the delivery room.

56. Your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener.

57. Your wife's hairdo attracts bees.

58. Your baby's first words are "Attention K-Mart shoppers."

59. The antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.

60. Your primary source of income is the pawn shop.

61. You pick your teeth from a catalog.

62. You've ever financed a tattoo.

63. You refer to the time you won a free case of oil as the "day my ship came in."

64. Your hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.

65. Your mother has been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.

66. You've ever barbecued Spam on the grill.

67. You own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.

68. The best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.

69. You've ever raked leaves in your kitchen.

70. The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights.

71. Your brother-in-law is your uncle.

72. You entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.

73. You go to the family reunion to pick up women.

74. Your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.

75. You can't tell what color your car is because of the dirt.

76. You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.

77. None of your shirts cover your stomach.

78. Your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.

79. The rear tires on your car are at least twice as wide as the front ones.

80. You consider "Outdoor Life" deep reading.

81. You prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.

82. You use the term `over yonder' more than once a month.

83. Birds are attracted to your beard.

84. The diploma hanging in your den contains the words "Trucking Institute."

85. Your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.

86. Your wife's job requires her to wear an orange vest.

87. You've ever worn a tube top to a wedding.

88. Bikers back down from your momma.

89. You were shooting pool when your kids were born.

90. Your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.

91. You think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

92. Your school fight song was "Dueling Banjos".

93. You think a chain saw is a musical instrument.

94. You've ever stolen clothes from a scarecrow.

95. The most commonly heard phrase at your family reunion is "What the hell are you looking at, Sh-thead?"

96. You think that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.

97. You've ever shot a deer from inside your house.

98. The first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are "Howdy!", "HEY!" or "How Y'all Doin'?" (If they respond with the same... they're a redneck too!)

99. You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior.

100. You've ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.

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