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-=[ Office Pranks, Working World]=-
| [ << ]|| How Applicants Speak || [ >> ] |
| (and what they mean)|
"I KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH STRESSFUL SITUATIONS:"
I'm usually on Prozac. When I'm not, I take lots of coffee breaks.
"I SEEK A JOB THAT WILL DRAW UPON MY STRONG COMMUNICATION & ORGANIZATIONAL SKILLS:"
I talk too much and like to tell other people what to do.
"I'M EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE ORGANIZATION:"
I've used Microsoft Office.
"I'M HONEST, HARDWORKING AND DEPENDABLE:"
I pilfer office supplies.
"MY PERTINENT WORK EXPERIENCE INCLUDES:"
I hope you don't ask me about all the McJobs I've had.
"I TAKE PRIDE IN MY WORK:"
I blame others for my mistakes.
I give lots of unsolicited personal advice to co-workers.
"I'M WILLING TO RELOCATE:"
As I leave San Quentin, anywhere is better.
"I'M EXTREMELY PROFESSIONAL:"
I carry a Franklin Planner.
"MY BACKGROUND AND SKILLS MATCH YOUR REQUIREMENTS:"
You're probably looking for someone more experienced.
"I AM ADAPTABLE:"
I've changed jobs a lot.
"I'M HIGHLY MOTIVATED TO SUCCEED:"
The minute I find a better job. I'm outta there.
"I HAVE FORMAL TRAINING:"
I'm a college dropout.
"THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME AND CONSIDERATION:"
Wait! Don't throw me away!
"I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU SOON:"
Like, I'm gonna hold my breath waiting for your stupid form letter thanking me for my interest and wishing me luck in my future career.
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