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 [ << ] Iraq Prison Scandal Jokes [ >>
Late Night Jokes About the Iraqi Prisoner Abuse Scandal

"President Bush said he will not punish Donald Rumsfeld. Which is good, because no one wants to see pictures of a naked, old man." --Craig Kilborn

"President Bush apologized on TV to Iraqi prisoners. I don't know if the apology was sincere, because at the end, he says, 'I'm George Bush and I approve of this naked pyramid.'" --Craig Kilborn

"Who would have ever thought that more naked pictures would come out under the Bush administration than under the Clinton administration?" --Jay Leno

"Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld said that he was responsible for the abuse of the Iraqi prisoners. And today President Bush said the abuse was cruel and disgraceful and an affront to the most basic standards of morality and decency. And then he told Rumsfeld that he was doing a superb job. Then Rumsfeld said, 'What the hell do I gotta do to get fired?'" --Jay Leno

"Finally some good news for those naked Iraqi inmates, they just got hired for next year's Superbowl Halftime show." --Craig Kilborn

"Donald Rumsfeld testified before Congress today. Donald Rumsfeld said he didn't read the report on Iraqi prisoners because it was too long and it contained too much information. When he heard this, President Bush said 'Hey that's my line.'" --Conan O'Brien

"It's a good thing there are no gay people in the military because otherwise weird sex stuff might happen." --Tina Fey, Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update"

"The Bush administration is now asking Congress for another 25 billion for the war in Iraq. I don't know what they're going to be buying with this money, but I think we can rule out anymore digital cameras." --Jay Leno

"Rush Limbaugh spoke out on the Iraqi prison pictures situation today. He said it's entirely generated by the media. What? Is this guy on drugs?" --Jay Leno

"I don't want to say there's a lot of pressure on Rumsfeld, but today he called Vice President Dick Cheney and asked if he can borrow one of those secret, undisclosed locations just to kind of hang out in a little bit." --Jay Leno

"Foreign policy experts say that this Iraqi prison abuse thing could be a real setback in relations between American and Arab countries. But it was going so well up until this." --Jay Leno

"Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said today that those pictures of Iraqi POW's being humiliated are deeply disturbing. Well dude what else is he going to say, 'Well you know, I found them to be kind of a turn on.'" --Jay Leno

"President Bush also apologized for the humiliation of the Iraqi prisoners. You know those photos of the female soldiers standing over the naked men, see in the Arab world that is an outrage. Almost as big an outrage as women driving or voting." --Jay Leno

"Here's how bad the situation in Iraq is right now. Supposedly we still have 40 rolls of film we're afraid to pick up at the Fallujah photo lab." --Jay Leno

"John Kerry announced his plan for how to handle those poor naked prisoners. His wife is going to buy them all a $1,000 Armani suit." --Craig Kilborn

"Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, facing growing demands that he resign or be fired, apologized to Congress on Friday for the abuse of Iraqi prisoners. Rumsfeld said, 'I take full responsibility. This happened on my watch. I feel terrible.' He went on to add, 'My heart goes out, yada yada yada, you had me at hello, blah blah blah, I'm a genius you're all morons, you can't handle the truth, can I go now, ahhh.'" --Tina Fey

"The prisoner scandal is yet another election year problem for President Bush. And, with the economy still struggling, combat operations in Iraq dragging on, and the 9-11 hearings revealing damning information, even an opponent of limited political skill should be able to capitalize on those problems. The Democrats, however, chose to nominate John Kerry." --Jon Stewart

"President Bush was on Arab TV to talk about the Iraqi POW abuse scandal. President Bush said, 'In a democracy, mistakes are investigated.' Well, not election mistakes." --Jay Leno

[Daniel Kurtzman]

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