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-=[ Joke Number 890 ]=-
| [ << ]|| Chicken: Entertainers (3b) || [ >> ] |
| Why did the chicken cross the Road? |
Zsa Zsa Gabor: It probably crossed to get a better look at my legs, which, thank goodness, are good, dahling.
Greta Garbo: It vanted to be alone.
Yuel Gibbons: Because that's where the vegetarians live!
Hugh Grant: He was up to his old tricks.
Buddy Hackett: 'Cause there was a cook behind her trying to shove a rotisserie skewer up her behind!
Oliver Hardy: There´s another nice mess you´ve gotten us into!
Arte Johnson: To get a Walnetto.
Graham Kerr: What! "Chicken Crossing The Road"...not without a fine white wine and a cup of heavy cream.
Stan Laurel: I'm sorry, Ollie. It escaped when I opened the run.
Michael Lerner When I was the leading chicken's rights activist in the 60's, I actively studied the question. In the politics of meaning, no chickens will have to cross the road if they don't want to...
Jerry Lewis: For my kids.
Marcel Marceau: ...
Shirley MacLaine: After I was hatched from an egg in 1703, I recall having to cross the road.
Chico Marx: It couldn't. It was a rubber chicken.
(1) Chicken. You said the secret word and have won $100.00
(2) Chicken? What's all this talk about chicken? Why, I had an uncle who thought he was a chicken. My aunt almost divorced him, but we needed the eggs.
(3)The club on that side of the road wanted him to join.
(4) This morning I shot a chicken in my pyjamas -- and lemme tell ya, that chicken ran out of my pyjamas in a second!.
Harpo Marx: Honk! Honk! Honk!
Jackie Mason: Whaddaya want, it should just stand there?
Temuera Morrison: So it wouldn't be in Guatemala any more. (New Zealand Actor)
Bob Newhart: It crossed becau ... Same to you, fella.
Jack Nicholson: 'cause it fuckin' wanted to. That's the fuckin' reason.
Michael Palin: Nobody expects the banished inky chicken!
Marlin Perkins, on Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom: Watch, as the chicken mauls Jim yet again..
Monty Python: For Something Completely Different
Mr. Rogers: It wanted to be my neighbor!
Arnold Schwartznegger: It vill be back.
Jerry Seinfeld: Why does anyone cross the road? I mean, why doesn't anyone think to ask "What the heck was the chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?"
Red Skelton: He was a baaaad boy.
Jerry Springer: Next, chickens who bear their breasts at cock fights.
Dionne Warwick: Now even chickens can call for their free 10 minute reading. "your sign is coming into the 3rd house of Peterbuilt, I see you crossing a path of some sort, there are lines on the path. . .umm. . . your lucky number is 14 (click!)"
Mae West: I invited it to come up and see me sometime.
Flip Wilson: The devil made her do it.
Oprah Winfrey: To avoid mad-cow disease
Jonathan Winters: It didn't. It was too chicken.
Henny Youngman: Take this chicken ... please.
[ Stan Kegel, firstname.lastname@example.org ]
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