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-=[ Joke Number 550 ]=-

 [ << ] Definitions of Philosophical Terms. [ >>
Discourse: Talky talky.

Hermeneutics: What I mean.

Logic: Why I'm right.

Apologetics: Why you're wrong.

Fallacy: Why you don't even know you're wrong.

Epistemology: How I know I'm right and you're wrong.

Existential: Don't feel bad: everyone is wrong.

Post-modern: Who cares if I'm right or wrong.

Systemic: Your wrongness goes deep.

Neo-: You're as wrong as those old guys.

Crypto-: I'm the only one who knows your wrongness.

Paradoxical: It only looks like I'm wrong.

Hyper-: You'd be right if you could learn to state things paradoxically.

Grand meta-narrative: He thinks he's right about everything.

Paleo-: You're as wrong as that new-fangled stuff.

phenomenal: I only seem wrong.

transcendental: If anyone's right, I must be.

false consciousness: Deep down you know I'm right.

subjugated/subaltern: They're right, but everyone says they're wrong.

bourgeois: They pay good money to be right.

proletariat: We're wrong now, but wait for the revolution!

deconstruction: w/ri(gh)t(e)

Platonism: I know the very Form of rightness.

Thomism: 1. It would appear that you are right.

Categorical imperative: If you're right, let's make it a universal law.

Problematize: I'll show you how wrong you really are.

Cartesianism: cogito ergo rectitudo.

ontological argument: I am so right that none greater can be conceived.

epiphenomenon: This sentence is neither right nor wrong, as it is the product of a chemical reaction.

post-: Now we're finally right.

eclectic: You are wrong in a lot of different ways.

synthesis: You are so wrong that you are right.

exegesis (cf. hermeneutics): I know what it means and I can discourse all day about it.

presuppositional: I'm right and I won't even discuss it with you.

-istic: You started with something good and made it really stupid.

dialectic: I'm right, but then again, I may be wrong.

Weltanschauung: How you see the world when your brain has been made into mush by German philosophy.

deconstruction: If I grind you up I can show that even your molecules are wrong.

bayesian: I'll give you even money that I'm right.

teleological: You've got everything backwards.

a priori: We'll just assume that I am right.

a posteriori: Having seen who won, I can assure you I was on that side all the time.

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