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-=[ Joke Number 514 ]=-

 [ << ] M$ Knowledge Base [ >>
Microsoft Knowledge Base: Not Installing Linux

The information in this article applies to:

    * Red Hat Linux versions 6.0, 6.1
     * Debian GNU/Linux version 2.2              Did the information
     * SUSE Linux version 6.3                    in this article
                                                 help answer your
                                                 [ ] Yes
  This article describes methods of not          [ ] No
  installing Linux on a server or workstation.   [ ] Did not apply
  It is a follow-up to Knowledge Base articles
  Q247804 [1] ("How to Remove Linux and Install      
  Windows 2000 or Windows NT on Your Computer") and Q171611 [2]
  ("Removing the Linux LILO Boot Manager"), intended for those who    
  have no current Linux installation.

In our unceasing effort to use Knowledge Base entries as rhetorical devices, we present this general-interest guide in order to expose our subtle propaganda to those Microsoft DevNet subscribers whose Knowledge Base preferences normally filter out Linux-related additions.

Machines on which Linux are not installed are not subject to the various limitations and defects of the Linux operating system. (See Q189463 ("Recoving NTFS Filesystems Horribly Mangled by The Linux Menace") and Q206890 ("Linux and the Halting Problem")) However, because of its UNIX heritage, Linux is difficult to not install.

If Linux is Already Installed

See Q247804 for information on removing Linux. Although the information in this document remains valid when Linux is installed, following these instructions will not in itself remove Linux.

Not Installing Linux from CD

Do not purchase a CD containing a Linux distribution. If you already have such a CD, do not place it in the CD-ROM drive. Whatever you do, do not boot from the CD or other boot media, as this will begin the installation process.

For detailed information on what to avoid during the installation process, see the documentation for your specific Linux distribution.

It may happen that you completely install Linux by accident. If so, follow the instructions in Q247804 to remove Linux. Do not install Linux again.

Not Installing Linux From The Network

Do not connect the machine in question to the network (see Q280442 ("C2 Security Made Easy")). Do not download boot images, and (as with not installing from CD) do not prepare or make use of preprepared boot media. If asked by others to install Linux from the network, say "No."

Dealing with others

Others may request that you install Linux on various machines. Normally, you can refuse such requests; however, if these people are your superiors, disregarding them may be regarded as insubordination. See Q246387 ("Brainwashing Supervisors With Gamma Rays") and Q210742 ("Voodoo and Windows 2000 Beta") for workarounds. It may happen that someone else installs Linux on your computer. If this happens, see Q247804.

Trade shows

You may be given Linux CDs at trade shows. Follow the instructions under "Not Installing Linux From CD".


Do not attend Linux installfests. If you must attend an installfest, do not bring the machine on which you do not want Linux installed. At the installfest, offer to order pizza and never do it. This will slow down the rate at which Linux is installed on computers over which you would otherwise have no control.

The third-party products discussed here are manufactured by vendors independent of Microsoft. That's what makes them third-party products. We make no warranty, implied or otherwise, regarding these products' performance or reliability. Quite the opposite, in fact.

Keywords: windows microsoft sex mp3 Article ID: Q249069

[ Leonard Richardson, ]

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