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-=[ Joke Number 437 ]=-

 [ << ] Chicken: The X-Files (29b) [ >>
Why did the chicken cross the Road ?

EVE: Eves: It just knew.

FIRE: Phoebe Greene: Did the chicken have a date, 'cause if not... I could always...

Cecil L'ively: It was dying for a cigarette.

BEYOND THE SEA: Luther Lee Boggs: I can see... the chicken; yes, the chicken, is in pain, great pain, and oh god! The Road! He's going to cross the road!!

LAZARUS: Jack Willis: I don't know....I think I remember why it crossed the road... No! No! I don't care about that chicken anymore!!!

THE CALUSARI: Charlie/Michael Holvey: The chicken wants to cross the road, Mommy. *Now*.

GENDERBENDER: Brother Andrew: The chicken left its peaceful community of brothers and sisters and crossed the road to become one of you . . . to enjoy pleasures we can't.

Michael: The road's touch was electric....but after that, the chicken remembers, only vaguely. Crossing the road used to be so simple!

YOUNG AT HEART: John Barnett: <breath> Man... I'm *everywhere* that chicken is... <breath>

MIRACLE MAN: Rev. Cal Hartley: The chicken crossed to be HEALED! Hallelujah! Praise the Lord! GOD is with the chicken! Amen...

SHAPES: Indian man: He should have been called... Feathered Chicken... or Flying Chicken, not Crossing Chicken.

DARKNESS FALLS: Doug Spinney: The chicken crossed the road because its natural habitat was being methodically destroyed by clearcuts and illegal logging... within ten years, we won't have any forests *or* chickens left!

BORN AGAIN: Michelle Bishop: *I* made the chicken cross the road.

Detective Sharon Lazard: There's no way the chicken crossed the road on its own. I've known that chicken for years, and it would never do that.

ROLAND: Chickens cross roads. But they're not supposed to get run down.

BLOOD: Ed Funsch: It was ordered to by its microwave oven.

DUANE BARRY: Duanne Barry: I don't know... it just had to go...Please, I'm askin' ya not to stop it from crossing the road... it just has to go!!!!!!!

3: Kristin Kilar: The chicken won't cross the road. It's not who he is. It doesn't make him happy.

AUBREY: BJ Morrow: It saw a dog digging in the field across the road.

ANASAZI: CC's FBI Agent: The chicken crossed the road? Wasn't the chicken originally assigned to remain at the *side* of the road?

IRRESISTIBLE: Donnie Pfaster: Were its feathers normal, or dry?

Agent Bocks: It shot across the road to see what's the what.

Karen Kosseff (speaking to the chicken): How does crossing the road make you feel? What are your fears about crossing the road? Are you afraid of failing the rooster?

COLONY: The Gregors: That chicken was the last remaining. Unless you protect it, it is already dead.

Rev. Sistrunk: You're asking me if chicken roasts on hell's barbecue for crossing the road?

FEARFUL SYMMETRY: Sophie the Gorilla: Chicken go crossing road.

HUMBUG: The Conundrum: (burp)

Mr. Nutt: Just because you have a chicken, you automatically assume that it will cross the road? In an attempt to continue an age-old joke that never had any humor in the first place, you've only managed to further trample on the subject... and draw it out in all its mediocrity. When in fact - do you really know if the chicken had better things to do than simply cross the road? That perhaps it may have gone off to study, to gain a better life? But no, you just took the simple framework of common knowledge, and *assumed* that the chicken would cross the road, thus increasing an already cliched stereotype.

Dr. Blockhead: It's a mystery. And some mysteries were never meant to be solved.

OUR TOWN: Workers at Chaco Chicken: A chicken? That wasn't a chicken, that was the Mayor...

CLYDE BRUCKMAN'S FINAL REPOSE: The Stupendous Yappi: The chicken feels it is not in control of its own destiny. It has feathers - somewhere on its body. It recently laid an egg - or not. <raises eyebrow> Here - it tries to force itself onto the road! But...it cannot cross the road...it is incompetent.

[ Stan Kegel, kegel@fea.net ]

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