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-=[ Joke Number 433 ]=-

 [ << ] Chicken: The X-Files (29a) [ >>
Why did the chicken cross the Road ?

Fox Mulder: (1) It was a government conspiracy.
(2) You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
(3) No government agency has jurisdiction over the chicken. The chicken is out there, Scully, and we will find it.

Dana Scully: (1) There is a logical, scientific explanation for the chicken crossing the road. We need more evidence.
(2)It was a simple bio-mechanical reflex that is commonly found in chickens.

Walter Skinner: (teeth clenched) You've got 24 hours to find out why that @!!*@!@ chicken crossed the road!!!

CSM: (blows puff of smoke) There was no chicken.

Alex Krycek: Because he can't decide WHAT side he's really on.

Byers: It was trying to escape the most heinous and evil force of the twentieth century.

Langly: It was on its way to the grassy knoll, dude.

Frohike: (snapping a photo) I don't know, but she's hot.

Bill Mulder: (1) It heard the words, and they made sense to it.... merchandise...fryer parts....
(2) I have told you that I don't remember any chicken.

Mrs. Mulder: I have told you that I don't remember any chicken.

Mrs. Scully: I had a dream about the chicken being taken away....

Melissa Scully: The chicken needed to get in touch with its inner self, to find the light and the good. It was in a very dark place...

Bill Scully, Sr.: One day the chicken and I will be together again...

Bill Scully, Jr.: Dana, you spend too much time worrying about chickens... for HIM? You should be home with your family!

Queequeg: Woof! (translation: to avoid being eaten by Big Blue.)

Agent Pendrell: To get Dana a birthday present.

The Well-Manicured Man: It will cross the road in one of two ways....

Deep Throat: Mr. Mulder, they crossed the road a very long time ago. Trust no fowl.

X: The chicken is choosing a dangerous time to cross alone. The road is still out there, but it's never been more dangerous.

Marita Covarrubias: I don't know how much I can tell you about the chicken.... Oh yessssss, the chickenssssss. How much time do you have?

Jeremiah Smith: I can't tell you right now why the chicken crossed the road, but if you come with me, I'll show you....

The Mighty Morphin' Bounty Hunter: Tell me where the chicken is!

Danny (Mulder's FBI inside man): Because it needed to get a better look at a license plate.

PILOT: Section Chief Blevins: We trust that the chicken made the proper decision about crossing the road.

DEEP THROAT: Mrs Budahas: That <gasp, shudder> is *not* my chicken

Emil and Zoe: I dunno, but I sure hope he stayed away from the - heh heh - *landmines* and junk!

SQUEEZE: Tom Colton: At this point I'm willing to accept any theory as to why the chicken crossed the road--any sane theory. I'm sorry, Dana, but I only want qualified chickens at the intersection.

Eugene Tooms: Mmm...pate...

Det. Frank Briggs: I've been waiting...sixty years...for the chicken to cross that road.

CONDUIT: Darlene Morris: Why do you want to know? So that the chicken can face the same ridicule I did years ago when *I* crossed the road? You stay away from my chicken.

THE JERSEY DEVIL: Ellen: Well - first it had to get a life. And...a rooster.

Rob: I don't know, but I don't suppose you want to hear about the finer points of the state planning and taxation?

GHOST IN THE MACHINE: Brad Wilczek: Chickens enjoy walking down unpredictable avenues, turning new corners, but, as a general rule, chickens never cross roads.

FALLEN ANGEL: Commander Henderson: Get this chicken out of my sight!

Woman at the U.S. Space Surveillance Center: The chicken seems to be hovering over a small road in eastern Wisconsin.

[ Stan Kegel, kegel@fea.net ]

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