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-=[ Joke Number 429 ]=-

 [ << ] Chicken: Babylon 5 (28) [ >>
Why did the chicken cross the Road ?

Mr. Adams: To try to take over the galaxy, like I've been saying.

Bester: (1) There's no delicate way to put this, I want that chicken.
(2) I've never seen that Chicken before in my life.
(3) (to the chicken) Why did you have to cross the road? We are your family. We raised you, clothed you. We are your father and mother. Don't force us to do this.... (the chicken squawks in mortal terror)

Carrion Eate: "That chicken killed in the middle of the road? Tastes just like Narn."

Corwin: I . . . I don't . . . umm . . . You'll have to ask the Commander.

Delena: (1) I leave for three days, and your chickens start crossing roads!
(2) It was the right thing for the Chicken to do at that time. We must all follow the calling of our heart.
(3) Valen asked the chicken, "Will you follow me into storm, into darkness, into fire, into death?" And the chicken said... "Yes."

Franklin: I don't know why. Say, are you doing anything tonight?

Michael Garibaldi: (1) What do I care? Did this Chicken commit any crime? 'Cause if it didn't, I've got way too many other things to worry about.
(2) Not again.
(3) The chicken in the middle of the road is looking for you . G'kar: (1) To free Narn from Centauri oppression.
(2) When a species suffers under generations of oppression, is it any wonder that it wishes to take back what belongs to it?
(3) "Weep for the chicken, Na'Toth. Weep for us all."

Jason Ironheart: "One chicken in a thousand is hatched near a road. One in every ten thousand of those ever tries to cross it. Half of them are run over by cars."

Lt. Comm. Susan Ivanova: (1) No crossing today, crossing tomorrow. There's always a crossing tomorrow .
(2) I'm Russian. Our chickens don't cross the road. Go ask Corwin.
(3) "...and if the chicken ever crosses the road again, Ivanova will personally rip its LUNGS out!"

Knight Two: "Do you really expect us to believe it was to get to the other side? WHAT HAPPENED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD?"

Kosh: (1)We take no interest in the affairs of Chickens.
(2)When the crossing has already started, it is too late for the chicken to vote.

Lennier: The Chicken does as the Chicken does.

Londo: 1) Chicken? Why would a creature that swims in the water want to cross a road? I never could understand the human sense of humor. Bah!
(2)For the glory of the Centauri Empire.

Lyta: (1) I cannot comprehend it's chickenness.
(2) If you're trying to get me to scan the Chicken without its permission, then I'm sorry, but I can't do that. Maybe if it was a turkey, I'd at least think about it. But I just ate a chicken last night

Marcus: (1) Perhaps it saw a female Chicken on the other side of the road, and it just wanted to tell her how much it loved her?
(2) sings "Modern Major road-crosser?

Londo Mollari: I feel like I'm being nibbled to death by chickens!

Capt. Jack Maynard: "It lost the lock-on signal from the curb."

Morden: (1) My associates had what it wanted on the other side. Pity it didn't see the car.
(2) It was what the chicken wanted.

Na'Toth: (1) To escape the blood oath the Thenta Makur had on it.
(2) It is a deathwalker!

Neroon: Perhaps it realized only late in life that its destiny lay elsewhere? Perhaps it was always, in its heart, a Chicken from the other side of the road?

Kosh Naranek: *tweetle* *blatt* *flash* Understanding is a three-edged sword.

Number One (From the Mars Resistence): That's how I treat all of my ex-chickens.

Catherine Sakai: Wow, Jeff... I thought you were into ducks!

John Sheridan: (1) The Chicken crossed the road? Ah, hell!
(2) As my grandfather used to say, cool chicken!
(3) The last time a chicken crossed the road, I blew it straight to hell!

Jeff Sinclair: (1) Why do any of us cross the road? In any life, there has to be some purpose -- some higher goal. For the Chicken, it was that piece of ground on the other side of the road.
(2) Watch out for chickens... they cross the road when you're not looking at them.

Streibs: "We were about to dissect the chicken to discover the answer, but a giant rooster appeared out of nowhere and pecked our ship to pieces..."

Vir: (1) Umm, for the glory of the Centauri empire?
(2) Wha? I . . . uh . . . I don't know. I suppose it . . . uh . . . I suppose it wanted to get to the other side?
(3) "I warned the chicken not to cross the road."

Lou Welch Hey, chief! There's some bozo here asking about something about a chicken and a road?

Talia Winters:

Zack: Hey, look: I don't know nothin', okay? I'm just doin' my job here. If you wanna know why the Chicken crossed the road, then why don't you go ask the Chicken?

Zathras: (1) If chicken cross road, chicken die. If chicken not cross road, chicken also die. Either way, is bad for chicken.
(2) Chickens. Yes. Very good. Very good. Zathras does not eat chickens. No chickens on Epsilon Three. Why did Chicken cross road? No roads on Epsilon Three. No, no. No roads. Poor Zathras must walk everywhere.

[ Stan Kegel, kegel@fea.net ]

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