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-=[ Joke Number 421 ]=-

 [ << ] Chicken: Star Wars (27b) [ >>
Why did the chicken cross the Road ?

Emporer Palpatine: (1) Soon the hen-house will be crushed and young chick will be one of us!
(2) Foolish chicken! Only now, at the end, do you see the head-lights!

Admiral Piett: Hold here. We only have to keep the chicken from crossing. I have my orders from the Emporer himself. He has a special barbeque planned.

R2D2: (1) Beep beep be bop.
(2) beep bleep be deep birp whirrrrrrrrr!

Anakin Skywalker : That chicken is a jedi. I saw its laser sword. No truck can thump on a jedi chick.

Luke Skywalker: (1) But Uncle Owen, Biggs got to go to the Academy, so did that chicken!
(2) Crossing the road is one thing, this is.... totally different.
(3) You chickens sure have a lot of rubber scoring.. you must have seen a lot of road action!
(4) But how am I to know to the Good Side of the Road from the Bad?

Shmi Skywalker : That path is laid before the chicken alone. It must make a choice of its own.

Han Solo: (1) Crossing roads aint like dustin' crops, chicken! There's lot of precise calculations. You could walk right into a Starrion, bounce to close to a Chevy Nova, and that would end your trip real fast
(2) I have a bad feeling about this chicken.
(3) Hurry up, Colonel Sanders, or you're gonna be a permanent resident!

Stormtrooper: We don't need to see his feathers... He's not the chicken we're looking for... He can go about his road-crossing... Move along... Move along...

Tarkin : (1) The regional governors now have direct control over their chickens. Fear will keep those chickens in line... fear of getting hit by a car! (2) Fear will keep the chickens in line, fear of this thoroughfare!

Darth Vader: (1) She was seduced by the dark side of the road.
(2) The circle is now comlete. When I left you, I was a chick... Now, I am the rooster!
(3) The Empire will compensate you if he's squashed.
(4) Because it could not resist the power of the Dark Side.
(5) Chicken? So! You have a pet chicken! Obi-Wan was wise to hide it across the street. Now his failure is complete! If you will not cross to the Dark Side of the road, then perhaps IT will!
(6) It can cross, but it cannot escape its DESTINY. Join me on the dark side of the road! Do not underestimate the power of the road!
(7) The force is strong in you young chicken, but you aren't a rooster yet. Come to the dark side of the road and I will complete your training.
(8) If you come across, together we can destroy the rooster and rule the entire coop.
(9) Because it could not resist the power of the Dark Side.

General Veers: The generator will be down in moments... you may begin egg-laying!

Wedge: (1) My scope shows the other side but it looks really far, are you sure you can cross it? (2) I've lost both starboard engines. My fire control is out. I can't hold the chickens off any longer!

John Williams: I'll have to thoroughly research the chicken's musical background before I can compose a road-crossing theme.

Yoda: (1) Crossing the road makes not a chicken great (2): Roads? What know you of roads? For 800 years have I trained chickens; my own counsel I will keep on why they cross! (3)This chicken, long time have I watched. Always looking away to the crossing the road! Never his mind on WHERE HE WAS! Allante! Hah! El Dorado! Hmph! A chicken has not use for things such as these (4) Do not under-estimate the powers of the road, or suffer the butcher's block you will! (5) Good side and evil side decide the chicken must.

[ Stan Kegel, ]

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