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-=[ Joke Number 417 ]=-

 [ << ] Chicken: Star Wars (27a) [ >>
Why did the chicken cross the Road ?

Admiral Ackbar : All chickens - prepare to cross the road on my mark.

Wedge Antilles: I've lost both starboard engines. My fire control is out. I can't hold the chickens off any longer!

Cantina Bartender: We don't serve their kind in here. Your chickens they'll have to wait across the street.

Aunt Beru: He can't stay here forever. Most of his friends have already crossed. It means so much to him.

Biggs: At that speed, will you be able to cross in time?

C3PO: (1) Sir, may I remind you that I am fluent in 6,000,000 forms of communication and this chicken has not... shutting up, sir.
(2) Sir, according to my calculations, the odds of a chicken successfully navigating a road are 3,750 to 1 against.
(3) Oh, splendid! We are now a part of the flock!
(4) I am fluent in over six million ways of crossing the road.

Lando Calrissian: (1) Why you slimy, no good, double-crossing chicken!! You got a lot of guts crossing that road, after what you pulled!
(2) Well, well... What have we here? A chicken? Mmmm you truly belong here on my plate!

Chewiebacca: Gwrrroooooaaaarrrrrrlllllll!

Emperor (Star Wars): (1) And now, young chicken, now you will die.
(2) Young fool. Only now, after getting hit by a car do you understand.
(3) Soon the hen-house will be crushed and young chick will be one of us!
(4) Foolish chicken! Only now, at the end, do you see the head-lights!

Boba Fett: (1) What if he doesn't survive the crossing? He's worth a lot to me!
(2) What if the chicken doesn't survive? He's worth a lot to me!

Bib Fortuna: (1)Die chicken wanga?
(2) The chicken must be allowed to cross!

Greedo: You were a good chicken once; now you're Buick fodder!

Jabba the Hutt: I have little use for chickens who drop their eggs at first sign of a cross-walk.

Jerjerrod: The chicken is crossing the road? We shall double our efforts.

Obi Wan Kenobi: (1) Cross the road, chicken. Let go, chicken. Chicken - trust me.
(2)May the Force be with you.
(3)To follow old Obi Wan on some damn fool idealistic crusade.

Princess Leia: (1) Chicken? I thought I recognized your fowl scent when I was brought aboard!
(2) The tighter your grasp, the more chickens will slip through your feathers!

George Lucas: (1) Because the Force was with it.
(2) You'll have to wait for the next set of movies, 1-3, to find out the real reason why the chicken crossed. The whole point of the current releases, 4-6, is the story of the chicken's redemption crossing.
(3) The first chicken crossing scene was under budget and rushed, so I've used ILM's digital editors to add several more cars and also a school bus, which has nothing to do with story, but I thought looked really cool. The sound effects have been bolstered by the folks at my THX studio, and now, for the first time, you can hear the chicken scream, even though chickens don't really scream, but the sound, I find, helps set the tone of the scene. The chicken itself has been recreated from old footage. We had to edit out the original road and replace it with an updated digital road. It looks nothing like the other roads in the film, but that's okay because I wanted to show the hustle and bustle of a real superhighway, full of the action and of the grand scale that the fans really deserve. The chicken's blaster effects have been improved; now you can clearly see that the Dodge shoots first, making the chicken look less like a cold-blooded killer. That the Dodge missed by about seven feet, even though they were only a lane apart, and that the Dodge had the draw and plenty of time to aim, merely demonstrates the chicken's skill. All in all, the scene is about ten minutes longer, which is still shorter than I originally envisioned, but I felt that adding any more might break the flow of the story. Now the fans can see the chicken cross the road the way it was meant to be seen, on the big screen.
(4) I originally planned to have a chicken army attack the Stormtroopers on Endor, but the AT-AT walkers kept squishing them

Uncle Owen I told you to forget it. You're only concern is to cross that road.

Admiral Ozzel: Lord Vader, the chicken has crossed the street and is preparing to... acgh! wheeze! cough! THUD!

[ Stan Kegel, ]

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