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-=[ Joke Number 409 ]=-

 [ << ] Chicken: Star Trek (26a) [ >>
Why did the chicken cross the Road ?

To boldly go where no chicken has gone before:

"Friendly" Angel: It was being swept aside to make room for the strong!

B'Elanna: I'm sure it felt suffocated by all the bleeping regulations of bleeping Starfleet and just couldn't stand it any longer!

Barclay: Uh, chicken?!! Where?!!! C-c-c-ommander, did I ever mention my problem with small feathered things?

Dr. Bashir: It probably heard about my amazing medical skills not to mention my sexual prowess and came to get some pointers.

Hugh the Borg: (1)Maybe it just needed a big hug!
(2) Crossing the road is irrelevant. The chicken will be assimilated.
(3) Maybe it wanted to be my friend.

Nurse Chapel: Oh, Spock! I fixed you your favorite Vulcan plomeek and chicken soup!

Chekov: (1)It must have been on its way to assist in saving my life for the billionth time.. did I scream this time?
(2) Chicken intercept course entered, Keptan...

Commander Chikotay: (1)I'm not sure but I can find out. That chicken is my animal spirit guide.
(2) Whatever its reason, whatever its goals, we should respect its right to cross the road and seek its own spiritual awareness.

Crewman in red suit: "Captain, this chicken seems to have crossed the ... AAARRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!"

Dr. Crusher: (1) If there's nothing wrong with the chicken, there must be something wrong with the universe.
(2) Maybe since he couldn't make the other side to get to him, he had to get to the other side....

Emergency Medical Holographic Doctor on <U.S.S>. Voyager: Maybe it was trying to state the nature of a medical emergency.

Commander Data: (1) The chicken, in observing that it was on the opposite side of the 20th century Terran paved roadway, was aware that its immediate goal should have been to traverse the distance without interception by an kind of combustion-propelled personal transport vehicle, but I am unclear as to why any kind of domesticated fowl should desire to perambulate upon a conveyance normally reserved for the usage of...yes, sir.
(2) I do not know. Although I have compared all of my 437 billion data points relating to chickens and roads, there is no positive correlation between the two.

Judzia Dax: To get to the other side. Curzon might have disagreed with me, Tobin I'm sure wouldn't have had a clue, and then there's...

Holo Doc: How should I know? No one tells me anything around here. I didn't even know we added chickens to the crew. All I know is that it would have been nice, BEFORE the chicken went off to the cross the road, if it had remembered to turn me off!

Gul Dukat: Well, that's a very interesting question...I'm sure we can work out some kind of arrangement to obtain that information that will be to everyone's satisfaction.

Garak: To get to the other side? Of course not! Do you realize how ridiculous that is? I'm sure it was a simple matter of its farmer expelling it from the coop for...embezzling eggs.

Geordi: (1) Well, wherever it's going, I'm sure it'll be there in an hour or two--but any later, and it'll be absolutely impossible for it to make it.
(2) Well, wherever it's going, I'm sure it'll have more luck with women than I do.

Harry: I don't know, it's my first mission.

Mr. Homn:

Jake: Check out the chick that just came off that transport!

Janeway: Its primary goal was no doubt to get back to the Alpha Quadrant ... and it probably misses its dog.

Kes: It was remembering back to the times when its ancestors crossed roads all the time! They lost those abilities because they stopped using them!

Khan: With my last breath I spit at the chicken...

Kira: (1) I bet those damn Cardassians were after it!
(2) It was probably being chased by those cursed Cardassians.

James Tiberius Kirk: (1) You chicken bastard, you killed my son...YOU chicken BASTARD, you killed ...my SON...you CHICKEN bastard....youkilledmy...son!
(2) To . . . GET! . . . totheOTHER! . . . SIDE!

Lwaxana: Oh, Jean-Luc!

Marvin (the paranoid android): (1) "Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and you ask me why the chicken crossed the road? I could tell you, but I really don't think it's worth while."
(2)Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and what do they ask me? Why did the chicken cross the road? As if their pathetic cerebelums could even comprehend my answer. Chickens, don't talk to me about chickens... they're SO depressing.

Dr. Bones McCoy: (1) I think it's dead, Jim. Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not a plucker...
(2) How should I know? Dammit, I'm a doctor, not an ornithologist!
(3) Captain, it was fleeing from such pain!

[ Stan Kegel, kegel@fea.net ]

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