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-=[ Joke Number 389 ]=-

 [ << ] Chicken: Business (22a) [ >>
Why did the chicken cross the Road ? The Businessmen and Businesses (22a):

American Express: She wouldn't leave home without us.

Andersen Consultant: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM) Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Andersen consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park like setting enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.

Leonard Armato: Looks like we'll have to come up with something to replace our latest MTV project, "Chicks Cooped Up."

P. T. Barnum: Because there is a foul born every minute.

Ben & Jerry: Our new Ice Cream. Grandma's Funky ChickenSoup Ice Cream, or Funky Chicken for short. We will give20 cents per tub to the Environmental Chicken Fund.

Noam Chomsky:To manufacture consent

Walt Disney: It was a Mickey Mouse idea.

Michael Eisner: (1) To cash in $565,000,000.00 in stock options.
(2) To see the Mighty Ducks at the pond.

General Electric: For a better tomorrow.

Henry Ford: Chickens are bunk.

Bill Gates: (1) I have just released the new Chicken 2000 which both crosses AND balances your checkbook though when it divides 3 by 2 it gets 1.499999999938.
(2) To lead the other chickens across the Info Superhighway (NOT road) and into a world where there's a computer in every home. Its just where he wanted to go today.
(3) For the money!
(4) I have just released the new Chicken Office 780. Which will not only cross roads but will also lay eggs and file your important documents.
(5) It was bundled with Explorer until the government stepped in.

Samuel Goldwyn: It created an excitement that swept the country like wild flowers.

Hugh Hefner: To express her sexual freedom.

Howard Hughes: It was no chicken. It was a spruce goose.

Lee Iacocca: It found a better car, which was on the other side of the road.

[ Stan Kegel, ]

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