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-=[ Joke Number 385 ]=-

 [ << ] Chicken: Fictional Characters (21c) [ >>
Why did the chicken cross the Road ?

Perry Mason: Cross the road you say? But how can you be sure? No one else would have known the chicken crossed the road except for the real killer!

Brett Maverick: As my pappy used to say, "If someone wants to bet you that that chicken will cross the road to lay an egg, warm up the skillet to make an omlette."

Walter Mitty: Staring out into space, he saw himself rescuing the flock from slaughter, never hearing the approaching truck.

Inigo Montoya:(1) It too pursues a man with six fingers on his left hand.
(2) Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. The chicken killed my father. It must prepare to die.

Motti: I want two chickens! And three bottles of wine!!

Romeo Montague: What's in a name? That which we call a chicken, by any other name would cross the same.

Mork: Na-Nu, Na-Nu. To find my eggshell.

Morton: There was a fork in the road so what could he do?

Alfred E. Neumann: What? Me worry?

Scarlett O'Hara: Cross! Cross! Cross! If I hear one more word aboutcrossing the road I'll run in the house and slam the door!

Othello: Then must you speak of one who crossed not wisely, but too well.

Pandora: He liked discovering new things.

Patsy: Oh, F*&% the chicken. Run it over and lets have a drink.

Percy: To acquire a hunk of purest green

Captain Queeg: You may tell the roosters for me there are four ways of crossing the road: the right way, the wrong way, the chicken way, and my way. If they do things my way, we'll get along.

Queenie: Because I told it to.

The Red Queen: Who cares? Off with it's head!

Don Quixote: He was chasing windmills.

The White Rabbit: It was late!

Rimmer: Aliens!!!

Gen. Jack D. Ripper: To maintain the purity of its precious bodily fluids.

Francisco Scaramanga: We all get our jollies one way or another.

Sgt. Hans Schultz: I saw nothing.

Ebenezer Scrooge: (1) Baaaa. Humbug. It didn't cross the road.
(2) For chickenfeed.

Neddy Seagoon: WhatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatWHAT?

Bart Simpson: It's outta here, man!

Homer Simpson: (1) Mmmmmmmmm, chicken.
(2) Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh chicken.

Mrs. Slocum: Now look what you've done, there's chicken all over my pussy!

The Sphinx: You must tell me.

Dr. Strangelove: Because it could not afford to be caught on the wrong side of the road-side gap.

E. T.: (1) He wanted to call home.
(2) Chicken, phone home

Mr. T: If you saw me coming, you'd cross the road too!

Grand Moff Tarkin: Fear will keep the chickens in line, fear of this thoroughfare!.

Tevye: (1) As the good book says, "If you cross the road to get out of the rain, its snowing on the other side."
(2) If I were a chicken....

Tiggr: (1) Because that's what chickens do best!
(2)That's the wonderful thing about Chickens, Chasing Chickens is FUN FUN FUN, And the Wonderful thing about Chickens Is that when crossing streets they RUN!

Oliver Twist: Please sir, can it cross some more?

Fred Van Ackerman: He did it for the good of the country.

Ace Ventura: That's none of your damn business and I'll thank you to stay out of my personal affairs.

Dr. Peter Venkman: This chick is "Toast".

Rip Van Winkle: I don't know. I slept through it.

Lord Peter Wimsey: For Napolean Brandy, of course. Its all a matter of taste.

Major Charles Emerson Winchester, the Third: What do you two-bit quacks know about chickens? Did you learn about them in medical school, or did you just read the comic book?

Molly Yard: It was a hen!

[ Stan Kegel, kegel@fea.net ]

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