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-=[ Joke Number 377 ]=-

 [ << ] Chicken: Fictional Characters(21a) [ >>
Why did the chicken cross the Road ?

Morticia Addams: He looks so sweet. Looks just like a little entree.

Anonymous Aggie: To demonstrate to the armadillo that it COULD be done!

Garth Algar (Wayne's World): Did you ever see that Twilight Zone where the chicken crossed the road and they cut out his tongue and put it in a jar and it wouldn't die, it just grew and pulsated and gave birth to baby tongues? Pretty cool huh?

Paul Atreidies: What name have you for the chicken shaped stain upon your road? That shall be the name that you shall call me!

Mother Angelica: Honey, Chickens just can't cross roads.

Bilbo Baggins: Oh what I wouldn't give to back in my nice, warm Hobbit-hole! I hope I never have to lay eyes on such a thing as that chicken again!

Baldrick: It had a cunning plan.

The Bandit, in The Treasure of The Sierra Madre: "Chickens? Chickens? We don't need no stinkin' chickens!"

Buckaroo Banzai: "Wherever the chicken goes, there he he is."

Yogi Bear: He was smarter than the average chicken.

Beavis and Butthead
Beavis: Because it sucks.
Butthead: Heh, heh, heh!

Rick Blaine: If she don't cross that road she'll regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of her life.

Elwood Blues: They're not gonna catch it. It's on a mission from God!

James Bond: World domination. The same old dream. Our asylums are full of chickens who think they're Napoleon. Or God.

Dr. Emmet Brown: Roads? Where we're going we don't need roads.

Bruce, Bruce, Bruce, Bruce, Bruce and Bruce:To grab a Fosters and get away from the poofters!

Bukowski: To go to the bar, pick a fight, and find a good hen.

Archie Bunker: I don't care what them there chickens do, as long as they stay on THEIR side of the street!

Bugs Bunny: What's up, cluck?

Rhett Butler: Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.

Mike Callahan: Shared pain is lessened; shared joy is increased; shared chicken is soup.

Candide: To cultivate its garden.

Bill the Cat: (1) Oop Ack.
(2) Ack. Thpppbt

Charlie Chan: (1) Hasty conclusion easy to make, like hole in water.
(2) Truth, like oil, will in time rise to surface.

Beaver Cleaver: I dunno Wally. Wh-Why would a chicken cross the road?

David Cooperfield: To be the hero of its own life.

Vito Corleone: We made her an offer she couldn't refuse.

Ichabod Crane: I couldn't tell. He was running around without his head.

Arthur Dent: Are you sure the chicken is from Beetelgeuse, and not from Gilford after all?

Dilbert: (1) I hate it when the title gives away the plot!
(2) To establish asynchronous file transfer protocols.

Dorothy: Toto, I have a feeling it isn't in Kansas any more.

Eeyore: If it did. Which I doubt. Not that it matters.

Basil Fawlty: Oh, don't mind that chicken. It's from Barcelona.

Sybil Fawlty: Basil! Why is there a chicken in my hotel?

Dutchess of Fenway: To get aid from the U. S. government.

Dr. Johnny Fever: To escape from the Phone Cops!

Fiver (from Watership Down): Don't you see it? The sky has turned to blood, the field has turned to fire... The chickens! Don't you see the chickens?

Lord Flasheart: To dooooooooo it!.

Barney Fyfe: Now Andy, let me tell you a thing or two about chickens. Chickens cross roads in those other counties, but not here in Mayberry. No chicken crosses no roads in Mayberry without Deputy Fyfe knowing about it!

[ Stan Kegel, kegel@fea.net ]

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