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-=[ Joke Number 317 ]=-

 [ << ] Chicken: Historic Figures (9b) [ >>
Why did the chicken cross the Road ? American Historic Figures (9b):

Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.

Legeon of Decency: Teaching about chickens should be left exclusively to the home and the church. It is a mortal sin to ask this question anywhere else.

Abraham Lincoln: (1) We highly resolve that this chicken shall have not crossed in vain, but that this nation, under God, shall have shall have a new freedom and this nation shall not perish from the earth.
(2)Four score and seven eggs ago, our forefeathers.

Douglas MacArthur: (1) He promised to return.
(2) Old chickens never die, they just cross the road.

Cotton Mather: She is a witch in league with the devil, who must be Bar-B-Qued on the stake.

Senator Joseph McCarthy: He was a Rhode Island Red conspiring against the U. S. of A.

Carrie Nation: To do the work of the lord and fight the evils of the demon rum.

Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road.
(2) That part of our conversation was accidentally erased.
(3) That chicken was not a crook.
(4) It was not a chicken. It was my dog,

Annie Oakley: She was doin' what comes naturally.

Thomas Paine: Out of common sense.

Gen. George S. Patton: (1)To get those yellow bellied chickens outta here.
(2) The way to win a war is not to cross a road for you country. The way to win a war is to make some other poor chicken cross a road for his country!
(3) Thirty years from now, when you're sitting around the fireplace with your grandson on your knee and he asks you what you did while the chickem was crossing the road, you won't have to say, "Well... I shoveled chicken shit in Louisiana."

Ronald Reagan: (1) Well, I forgot.
(2) What cat?
(3) If you've seen one chicken, you've seen them all.
(4). I don't recall. What was the question?

Theodore Roosevelt: Bravery is the highest virtue.

Will Rogers, Jr.: (1) All I know is what I read in the papers.
(2) I never met a chicken I didn't like,
(3) If he wishes to cross, it is his right to do so.

General Phillip Sheridan: The only good chicken is a fried chicken.

Harry S. Truman: She couldn't stand the heat in the kitchen.

George Washington: (1) We used chickens to sniff out British sympathizers. We called the operation "chicken cacciatore".
(2) Actually it crossed the Delaware with me back in 1776. But most history books don"t reveal that I bunked with a birdie during the duration.
(3) I cannot tell a lie. I was going to chop it with my little axe, so it crossed the road.

Malcolm X: Because it would get across that road by any means necessary.

[ Stan Kegel, ]

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