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-=[ Joke Number 313 ]=-

 [ << ] Chicken: Historic Figures (9a) [ >>
Why did the chicken cross the Road ? American Historic Figures:

John Adams: The crossing of the road is so bold, so daring, so firm intrepid and inflexible and it must have so important consequences, and so lasting, that I can't but consider it an epoch in history.

Neil Armstrong: (1) One small step for chickenkind, one giant leap for poultry.
(2) It was one big step for poultry.

Lizzie Bordon: I'm just a little girl and an orphan. How could I know a chicken with its head chopped off could still run.

Captain Caldwell: He was a Blue Hen's Chicken and raring for a fight.

Andrew Comstock: It is shocking for a chicken to cross showing its breast without dressing. He who stops to observe the chicken will be damned to spend eternity in Hell.

Thomas E. Dewey: It was time for a change.

Wyatt Earp: Well, chicken, are you gonna do something, or just stand there and bleed?

Benjamin Franklin: Early to cross, early to lay, makes a hen healthy with more time to play..

Nathan Hale: He regrets that he has only one road to cross for his flock

William Harrison Hays: A hen and rooster may be seen together only if they are on opposite sides of the road. A chicken shall never be shown crossing the road if another chicken is present.

Patrick Henry: For liberty or death.

J. Edgar Hoover: Our investigation reveals his Red contact had left a drop for him there..

Thomas Jefferson: (1)In the course of avian events, all chickens are created equal, and have the inalienable right of freedom to travel as they desire.
(2) For life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
(3) All hens are endowed by Nature and Nature's God with the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of the other side.

Lyndon Baines Johnson: "Ah have known many chickens in mah time. Some as friends, some as opponents, still others as dinner. Many chickens in our great society have tried to cross the road. Some have been successful. Others have been struck down by beer trucks in the prime of pullethood. Therefore I, as your president, ask the American people to rededicate themselves tonight to the struggles of chickens everywhere. They have begun their humble journeys across the road. Let them continyah."

John Paul Jones: It has not yet begun to cross!

John F. Kennedy: (1) The journey of a thousand miles starts with the first road crossing.
(2) "All of us who have crossed the roads of our lives understand the dangers of destination and the formidable burdens of flightless fowl. So let every chicken know, whether it crosses slowly or quickly, that this administration supports the struggles of chickens everywhere, and we will not be content until every hen is the master of its own house. We all have roads before us, and so each of us, in our own way, is really chicken. And so I say to the chickens of the world, 'Ich bin ein chickie-birden.'"
(3)The chicken chose to cross the road in this decade not because it was easy, but because it was hard.
(4) Because that's where the power is.

Martin Luther King: (1) It had a dream.
(2) I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

[ Stan Kegel, kegel@fea.net ]

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