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-=[ Joke Number 309 ]=-

 [ << ] Chicken: The Social Scientists (8) [ >>
Why did the chicken cross the Road ?

Alfred Adler: The feeling of inferiority rules the mental life of the chicken. Crossing the road is an expression of her will to power and a rejection of passivity.

Gordon Allport: It is an intergration of environmental influences with its own inner potentiality and spontaneous dynamisms.

Alfred Benet: The C.Q. or Crossing Quotient is the ratio of the number of times the chicken has crossed compared to his peers times 100 and is the best measure of a chicken's intelligence. This chicken had a C.Q. of 142 and must be considered gifted.

E. Paul Bindrim: He didn't like dressing.

Joseph Campbell: In primitive cultures, we can find many such examples of the chicken motif that cannot be dismissed as mere coincidence. For instance, I am reminded of an old Navajo legend in which a buffalo crosses a stream to "come" to the other side -- an obvious negative language devised to prepare tribesmen for a transcendental experience. Similarly, the Hindus believe in savanaya, or a sacred cow that leaps over a chasm on Thursdays. Through metaphorical interpretation, we are led to realize that all examples suggest an attainable higher state of consciousness like that of Nietzsche's ubermench, or superman, as outlined in his novel "Thus Spoke Zarathustra."

W. Edwards Demming: But is one chicken crossing one road of statistical importance? Only once we have established an historical baseline of chickens with respect to roads, with calculated upper and lower control limits, can we make that determination.

Eric Ericson: To resolve internal crires and develop an ego synthesis, and by doing so, become a functioning part of its society and culture.

Sigmund Freud: (1) The chicken was obviously female and obviously interpreted the pole on which the crosswalk sign was mounted as a phallic symbol of which she was envious.
(2) The fact that you thought the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity
(3a) A classic example of rooster envy! (Clean Version)
(3b) A classic example of cock envy! (Rated Version)
(4) The telephone pole suggested a phallic symbol and like all female creatures she wanted to be dominated.
(5) Your persistant dream of the chicken crossing the road indicates your desire to return to the egg.

Friedrich Froebel: To teach the brood

George Gallup: Hen Party 42%; Dare 18%; Whim 12%; Business 2%; Undecided 26%.

Stephen Jay Gould: It is possible that there is a sociobiological explanation for it, but we have been deluged in recent years with sociobiological stories despite the fact that we have little direct evidence about the genetics of behavior, and we do not know how to obtain it for the specific behaviors that figure most prominently in sociobiological speculation.

Heinz Hartmann: It is an adaptive mechanism to fit in with the environment in order to gain satisfaction of its instinctual needs and drives.

Karen Horney: To find her self-realization and self-actualization, it is necessary to deal with the here and now represented by the road and not with the past experiences associated with the egg.

Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.

Melanie Klein: She was driven by a primitive death instinct, an internalization of significant object relations.

Heinz Kohut: It is a narcissistic transference due to failure of parental empathy and acceptance.

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross: It is an emotional adaptation to the environment, a final accptance of the necessity to cross after periods of shock and denial, anger, bargaining and depression.

Kurt Lewin: Because it is a part of his life space.

Margaret Mead: It is a pubertal rite of passage, a manifestation of coming of age.

Murphy: The chicken will invariably cross the road at the worst possible time and the worst possible place.

Ivan Pavlov: He was conditioned to do so.

Otto Rank: As a rejection of the separation anxiety resulting from the birth trauma of leaving the eggshell.

Wilheim Reich: It was an attempt to resolve repressed infantile conflicts over incestuous desires.

Carl Rodgers: (1) Why do you think the chicken crossed the road?
(2) How do YOU feel about the chicken crossing the road?

Michael Schumacher: It was an instinctive manoeuvre, the chicken obviously didn't see the road until he had already started to cross.

B. F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will.

Harry Stack Sullivan: To establish an interpersonal relationship with the environment.

[ Stan Kegel, kegel@fea.net ]

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