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-=[ Joke Number 305 ]=-

 [ << ] Chicken: The Scientists (7b) [ >>
Why did the chicken cross the Road ?

Alessandro Volta: There was a potential difference in her future on the other side.

James Watt: It thought it would be a good way to let off steam.Andre Ampere: To keep up with current events.

Archimedes: She was buoyant and excited at the thought of new adventures.

Alexander Graham Bell: To get to the nearest phone.

Robert Boyle: She had been under too much pressure at home.

Marie Curie: She was radiating with enthusiasm as she crossed the road.

Jacques Ives Cousteau: Zee cheecken, unaware of zee dangare beehind heem, crosses zee street. Weezout warning, zee Porsche strikes, and zee balance of zee nature ees maintained.

Charles Darwin: (1)It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
(2): Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.

Pierre de Fermat: I just don't have room here to give the full explanation.

Charles Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

C. J. Doppler: For its effect on passer-bys.

George Eastman: To take a picture with a Kodak.

Thomas Edison: She thought it would be an illuminating experience.

Albert Einstein: (1) Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
(2) It was a relatively easy thing to do.
(3) The true value of a chicken can be found in the degree to which it has attained liberation from the self.

Paul Erdos: It was forced to do so by the chicken-hole principle.

Richard Feynman: It didn't cross the road to the other side. It actually came back to where it started but was momentarily moving backward in time. .emit ni drawkcab gnivom yliratnemom saw tub detrats ti erehw to kcab emac yllautca tI .edis rehot eht to daor eht ssorc t'ndid tI :namnyeF drahciR

Jean Foucault: It didn't. The rotation of the earth made it appear to cross.

Galileo: To get a better look at the stars.

Karl Gauss: Because of the magnetic personality of the rooster on the other side.

Werner Heisenberg: (1) We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.
(2) It was uncertain if it could make it, but wanted to try on general principles.
(3) Because the chicken is moving very fast, you can either observe the chicken or you can measure the chicken, but you cannot do both.

Gustav Hertz: Lately, its been crossing with greater frequency.

Johannes Kepler: He crossed in an arc, not a straight line.

Lemitre: He crossed with a big bang.

Gregor Mendel: (1) To get various strains of roads.
(2) It was dominant.

Friedrich Mesmer: It had been suggested when she was under hypnosis.

August Ferdinand Moebius: To get to the other...um...err

Samuel Morse: She had an appointment. She wanted to be there on the dot so she had to dash.

Isaac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.

Georg Ohm: She resisted the idea at first.

Wolfgang Pauli: There already was a chicken on the other side of the road.

Linus Pauling: To get some Vitamin C.

Bernhard Riemann: The answer appears in Dirichlet's lectures.

Carl Sagan: To see the billions and billions of stars.

Erwin Schroedinger: She had to get to the farm, or did she?

Alessandro Volta: There was a potential difference in her future on the other side.

James Watt: It thought it would be a good way to let off steam.

[ Stan Kegel, kegel@fea.net ]

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