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-=[ Joke Number 2854 ]=-

 [ << ] AOL Preparations for Version 5.0 [ >>
SEATTLE - (AP) America Online, the world's largest Internet service provider, announced a few new features of its soon to be released AOL 5.0.

AOL President Jeffery J Wilkinson says the new product will be even easier to use, touting AOL's new "I'm A Fuckin' Idiot" interface.

Wilkinson says the new browser eschews the traditional user menu in favour a simple, clean three-button design.

"AOL customers who upgrade to 5.0 won't have to mess with complicated options like 'back,''home' and 'bookmarks," Wilkinson said Tuesday. Users will simply have to click one of three big, colorful buttons to begin browsing. The links are labeled STUFF, THINGS and PLACES.

"We're targeting first-time users," Wilkinson continued, "or people who've used the Internet but have been turned off by its confusing mess of options. Why should people have to type an entire web address, when we can take you to one of our four-thousand chatrooms with a click of the mouse?"

AOL is bundling the "I'm Online" ISP service, the "My Web" web browser and its "My Places" free web page service in one package. Customers will be billed under the new "I Got Screwed" payment system.

AOL 5.0's new "Hey Look At Me" e-mail and newsgroup service automatically appends a 20-line sig file to every outgoing e-mail and newsgroup post.

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