funworldfun4you  Jokes Mailing List Archive  
 
:: Menu ::
- A. Search - Latest Jokes - Categories - Jokes Index -- Index 53 - Random Joke - Rated Jokes - Subscribe! (adsfree jokes daily)

Feedback
Mail link to a friend

 

-=[ Joke Number 2636 ]=-

 [ << ] Schwarzenegger Late-Night [ >>
"Arnold Schwarzenegger announced that he is going to run for governor on our program last night. My staff didn't know, Arnold's staff didn't know, I was shocked as everyone else. If he doesn't get elected governor, maybe he should work for the CIA. I mean, he can keep a secret better than they can." (Jay Leno)

"Yesterday, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he would run for governor of California. The announcement was good news for Florida residents who now live in the second flakiest state in the country." (Conan O'Brien)

"Apparently Arnold was inspired by President Bush, who proved you can be a successful politician in this country even if English is your second language." (Conan O'Brien)

"The big political news, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor of California, and already, people are chanting, 'Four more vowels, four more vowels.'" (Craig Kilborn)

"They're saying Arnold will get 95% of the vote. At least according to his brother, Jeb Schwarzenegger." (Craig Kilborn)

"If Arnold is elected, you know who I'd feel sorry for? The people on death row. Imagine, you're about to be executed, the governor calls, you think it's your reprieve, and you hear 'Hasta la vista, baby.'" (Jay Leno)

"Yesterday Jerry Springer bowed out of the Ohio Senate race. He said, 'If I can't run the most embarrassing campaign in America, then I'm out of here.'" (Craig Kilborn)

"It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what everybody thinks he said." (David Letterman)

"President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can't pronounce Schwarzenegger." (David Letterman)

"Critics have noted Schwarzenegger's only previous government experience was serving under President Bush senior as Chairman of the Council of Physical Fitness, a largely symbolic office, where Schwarzenegger's only responsibility was doing hundreds of jumping jacks he was going to do anyway." (Jon Stewart)

"Schwarzenegger said last night on the show he expects his opponents to throw all kinds of dirt at him. And you know, it's started already. Today, they released the one thing that could really hurt Arnold. Turns out he once starred in a movie with Tom Arnold." (Jay Leno)

"Finally, a candidate who can explain the Bush administration's positions on civil liberties in the original German." (Bill Maher, on Arnold Schwarzenegger)

"Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor. He's got a great slogan ? 'Vote for me, or I'll make 'Kindergarten Cop II....He's got a really stiff opponent ? the English language."' (Craig Kilborn)

"Arnold Schwarzenegger has still not officially bowed out of this race. It looks like he's not gonna run. But I'll tell ya, if Arnold does run, he better get on the ballot, because you don't want a write-in with a name like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Because people will go ? 'Schwarz, schwarz, oh Davis is easier.'" (Jay Leno)

"The Sacramento Bee is reporting that Arnold Schwarzenegger is not going to run for governor. You know what would be better? Arnold should do what he does in the Terminator movies. He should go back in time and prevent Gray Davis from ever being born. That way you wouldn't have the problem." (Jay Leno)

"There's all this talk about Arnold Schwarzenegger. Well, you know where he is now? Visiting Mexico, which I think means that he is definitely going to run for governor. Arnold is smart. He's in Mexico campaigning with the very people who'll be living here by election time." (Jay Leno)

"I went to see the Terminator movie the other night. Every time Arnold Schwarzenegger came on the screen this guy in front of me went 'Booo! Booo!' and was throwing stuff. I had to say 'Governor Davis just shut up and sit down!'" (Jay Leno)

Rate this Joke:
View Results

Browse Category: [prev] [Politics] [next]
Browse Category: [prev] [Quotes, Proverbs] [next]
[<<] -=[posting period: Jul03 - Sep03]=- [>>]
FuN-wOrLd provided by J&P Bergt, [ funworld 1995 - 2015 ], Imprint, Disclaimer