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-=[ Joke Number 2029 ]=-

 [ << ] Students: Change a Lightbulb [ >>
How many Students does it take to change a lightbulb?

Vanderbilt: Two
One to call the electrician and one to call daddy to pay the bill.

Princeton: Two
One to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician.

Brown: Eleven
One to change the lightbulb and ten to share the experience.

Dartmouth: None
Hanover doesn't have electricity.

Cornell: Two
One to change the lightbulb and one to crack under the pressure.

Penn: Only one, but he gets six credits for it.

Columbia: Seventy-six
One to change the lightbulb, fifth to protest the lightbulb's right to not change, and twenty-five to hold a counter protest.

Yale: None
New Haven looks better in the dark.

Harvard: One
He holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.

MIT: Five
One to design a nuclear powered one that never needs changing, one to figure out how to power the rest of Boston using that nuked lightbulb two to install it, and one to write the computer program that controls the wall switch.

Vassar: Eleven
One to screw it and ten to support its sexual orientation.

Middlebury: Five
One to change the lightbulb and four to find the perfect J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion.

Stanford: One, dude.

Oberlin: Three
One to change it and two to figure out how to get high off the old one.

Holy Cross: Ten
One to change it, one back up if the first guy's too drunk and the other eight to pray that it works.

Georgetown: Four
One to change it, one to call Congress about their progress, and two to throw the old bulb at the American U. students.

Duke: A whole frat, but only one of them is sober enough to get the bulb out of the socket.

Williams: The whole student body, when you're snowed in, there's nothing else to do.

Tufts: Two
One to change the bulb and the other to say loudly how he did it as well as an Ivy League student.

Sarah Lawrence: Five
One to change the bulb and four to do an interpretive dance about it.

Swarthmore: Eight
It's not that one isn't smart enough to do it, it's just that they're all violently twitching from too much stress.

Boston University: Four
One to change the bulb and two to check his math homework.

Wesleyan: Wesleyan's boycotting GE ... you know, military-industrial complex and all that.

Connecticut College: None, they are all too drunk to notice.

Virginia: Thirteen
Ten to form student committee to vote on whether changing light bulbs is a violation of the Honor Code, one to change the bulb, one to hold the keg the he's standing on, and another to attribute electricity to Mr. Jefferson.

Bowdoin: Three
One to ski down to the general store and buy the bulb, one to take the chairlift back to school, and one to screw it in.

Boston College: Seven
One to change the light bulb and six to throw a party because he didn't screw it in upside down this time.

Santa Clara University: One, but you would never know about it because only Cal and Stanford gets press for changing their lightbulbs.

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