:: Menu ::
- A. Search
- Latest Jokes
- Jokes Index
-- Index 39 - Random Joke
- Rated Jokes
- Subscribe! (adsfree jokes daily)
Mail link to a friend
-=[ Joke Number 1942 ]=-
| [ << ]|| The Stock Market Explained || [ >> ] |
| Bull Market - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. |
Bear Market - A 6 to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets none.
Momentum Investing - The fine art of buying high and selling low.
Value Investing - The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E ratio - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
Broker - Poorer than you were last year.
"Buy, Buy" - A flight attendant making market recommendations as you step off the plane.
Stock Analyst - Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
Stock split - When your ex-wife and her lawyer split all your assets equally between themselves.
Financial Planner - A guy who actually remembers his wallet when he runs to the 7-11 for toilet paper and cigarettes.
Market Correction - The day after you buy stocks.
Cash Flow - The movement your money makes as it disappears down the Toilet.
Call Option - Something people used to do with a telephone in ancient times before e-mail.
Day Trader - Someone who is disloyal from 9-5.
Cisco - Sidekick of Pancho.
Yahoo - What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
Windows 2000 - What you jump out of when you're the sucker that bought Yahoo for $240 per share.
Institutional Investor - Past year investor who's now locked up in a nut house.
Profit - Religious guy who talks to God.
Bill Gates - Where God goes for a loan.
Alan Greenspan - God.
Browse Category: [prev] [Funny Acronyms and Definitions] [next]
|[<<] -=[posting period: Jul02 - Sep02]=- [>>]|
|FuN-wOrLd provided by J&P Bergt, [ funworld 1995 - 2018 ], Imprint, Disclaimer|| |