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=[ Joke Number 1899 ]=  [ << ]  Quotes from Professors  [ >> ] 
 "Has anyone had problems with the computer accounts?" "Yes, I don't have one." "Okay, you can send mail to one of the tutors..."  E. D'Azevedo Computer Science 372 "If that makes any sense to you, you have a big problem."  C. Durance Computer Science 234 "Let's make ethanol green this afternoon."  R. Friesen Chemistry 124 "You can write a small letter to Grandma in the filename."  Forbes Burkowski Computer Science 454 "What I've done, of course, is total garbage."  R. Willard Pure Math 430a "The algorithm to do that is extremely nasty. You might want to mug someone with it?"  M. Devine Computer Science 340 "Is it a really good acid, or just a halfacid?"  R. Friesen Chemistry 124 "You can do this in a number of ways. IBM chose to do all of them. Why do you find that funny?"  D. Taylor Computer Science 350 "This process can check if this value is zero, and if it is, it does something childlike."  Forbes Burkowski Computer Science 454 "I think it is true for all n. I was just playing it safe with n>=3 because I couldn't remember the proof."  Baker Pure Math 351a "Now this is a totally brain damaged algorithm. Gag me with a smurfette."  P. Buhr Computer Science 354 "Every prof blows this. We're all going to get AIDS or something."  J. Vanderkooy Physics 122 "How do you find an isomorphism? You just f it. See? Graph theory is a lot of fun."  I. Goulden Combinatorics and Optimization 230 "You can't drink negative beer. Well, I guess you could throw up."  Forbes Math Elective 102 "Due to the postal strike, the assignment is extended to one week from today. I do not give out extensions without good reason."  Forbes Burkowski Computer Science 454 "You can bring any calculator you like to the midterm, as long as it doesn't dim the lights when you turn it on."  Hepler Systems Design 182 "You have to regard everything I say with suspicion  I may be trying to bullshit you, or I may just be bullshitting you inadvertently."  J. Wainwright Mathematics 140b "Pascal is Pascal is Pascal is dog meat."  M. Devine and P. Larson Computer Science 340 "We'll call it S for cyclic."  Gord Sinnamon Mathematics 234b "Karen has her own i, and she is not going to let Frank put his data into it."  F. D. Boswell Computer Science 240 "All that was meant to bore you shitless."  I. Goulden Combinatorics and Optimization 230 "The subspace W inherits the other 8 properties of V. And there aren't even any property taxes."  J. MacKay Mathematics 134b "So you have this mapping P(v). So what does it mean? It means you take v and 'P' on it, right?"  J. Baker Mathematics 234b "That's an engineer on his work term. He's sawing pipes, then soldering them back together again...He'll do that 10 times to make the pipe shorter."  J. MacKay Statistics 332 "What do I do if I am running low on my [computer] account?" "Take out a loan."  C. Durance Computer Science 234
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