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-=[ Joke Number 1899 ]=-

 [ << ] Quotes from Professors [ >>
"Has anyone had problems with the computer accounts?"
"Yes, I don't have one."
"Okay, you can send mail to one of the tutors..."
- E. D'Azevedo Computer Science 372

"If that makes any sense to you, you have a big problem."
- C. Durance Computer Science 234

"Let's make ethanol green this afternoon."
- R. Friesen Chemistry 124

"You can write a small letter to Grandma in the filename."
- Forbes Burkowski Computer Science 454

"What I've done, of course, is total garbage."
- R. Willard Pure Math 430a

"The algorithm to do that is extremely nasty. You might want to mug someone with it?"
- M. Devine Computer Science 340

"Is it a really good acid, or just a half-acid?"
- R. Friesen Chemistry 124

"You can do this in a number of ways. IBM chose to do all of them. Why do you find that funny?"
- D. Taylor Computer Science 350

"This process can check if this value is zero, and if it is, it does something child-like."
- Forbes Burkowski Computer Science 454

"I think it is true for all n. I was just playing it safe with n>=3 because I couldn't remember the proof."
- Baker Pure Math 351a

"Now this is a totally brain damaged algorithm. Gag me with a smurfette."
- P. Buhr Computer Science 354

"Every prof blows this. We're all going to get AIDS or something."
- J. Vanderkooy Physics 122

"How do you find an isomorphism? You just f it. See? Graph theory is a lot of fun."
- I. Goulden Combinatorics and Optimization 230

"You can't drink negative beer. Well, I guess you could throw up."
- Forbes Math Elective 102

"Due to the postal strike, the assignment is extended to one week from today. I do not give out extensions without good reason."
- Forbes Burkowski Computer Science 454

"You can bring any calculator you like to the midterm, as long as it doesn't dim the lights when you turn it on."
- Hepler Systems Design 182

"You have to regard everything I say with suspicion - I may be trying to bullshit you, or I may just be bullshitting you inadvertently."
- J. Wainwright Mathematics 140b

"Pascal is Pascal is Pascal is dog meat."
- M. Devine and P. Larson Computer Science 340

"We'll call it S for cyclic."
- Gord Sinnamon Mathematics 234b

"Karen has her own i, and she is not going to let Frank put his data into it."
- F. D. Boswell Computer Science 240

"All that was meant to bore you shitless."
- I. Goulden Combinatorics and Optimization 230

"The subspace W inherits the other 8 properties of V. And there aren't even any property taxes."
- J. MacKay Mathematics 134b

"So you have this mapping P(v). So what does it mean? It means you take v and 'P' on it, right?"
- J. Baker Mathematics 234b

"That's an engineer on his work term. He's sawing pipes, then soldering them back together again...He'll do that 10 times to make the pipe shorter."
- J. MacKay Statistics 332

"What do I do if I am running low on my [computer] account?" "Take out a loan."
- C. Durance Computer Science 234

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