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-=[ Joke Number 1391 ]=-

 [ << ] Might Be A Redneck 6 [ >>
367 Reasons You Might Be A Redneck (part 6)

251. Your coat-of-arms features kudzu.

252. Your sophisticated show-biz cousin is a rodeo clown.

253. You think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.

254. Your best ashtray is a turtle shell.

255. Your pocketknife has ever been referred to as Exhibit A.

256. You think cur is a breed of dog.

257. People hear your car long before they see it.

258. Your four-year-old is a member of the NRA.

259. Your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.

260. Your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.

261. Your wife has ever burned out an electric razor.

262. Your birth announcement included the word "rug rat".

263. You've ever hitchhiked naked.

264. You're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.

265. You use the O on a stop sign to sight your new rifle.

266. Your bumper sticker says, "My other car is a combine."

267. The gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot.

268. The highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.

269. Your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.

270. Taking a dip has nothing to do with water.

271. There are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.

272. You take a fishing pole to Sea World.

273. The hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.

274. You've ever filled your deer tag on the golf course.

275. You've ever shot somebody over a mall parking space.

276. Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.

277. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

278. You think mud rasslin' should be an Olympic sport.

279. The receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.

280. You list your parole officer as a reference.

281. There are more fish on your wall than pictures.

282. Motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.

283. There are more dishes in your sink than in your cabinets.

284. You think a turtleneck is a key ingredient in soup.

285. You've ever stood in line to get your picture taken with a freak of nature.

286. Your anniversary present was getting the septic tank pumped.

287. Your local ambulance has a trailer hitch.

288. You watch cartoons long after your kids get bored.

289. You think the French Riviera is a foreign car.

290. You think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.

291. You're still scalping tickets after the concert is over.

292. Every time you see a road sign that says "DIP" you reach in your back pocket.

293. You've ever had Thanksgiving dinner on a Ping-Pong table.

294. You have to throw down a rope ladder to get out of your truck.

295. You have to hit the dashboard in your truck to get the lights and radio to work.

296. The tires on your pick-up are taller than your children.

297. The duct tape on your car seat sticks to your butt when you get out.

298. Shopping for dinner involves an orange vest.

299. Your school dress code contains the line "Shoes Optional".

300. You've ever worn hunter's orange to church.

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