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-=[ Joke Number 1150 ]=-

 [ << ] Biggest Lies [ >>
3 Biggest Software Lies:
- The program's fully tested and bugfree.
- We're working on the documentation.
- Of course we can modify it.

3 Biggest Computer Room Lies:
- As long as you remember to 'SAVE' your input, you'll never lose any files.
- We run the stuff through as fast as it comes in the door.
- The new machines on order.

3 Biggest Large Company Lies:
- We have an entrepreneurial spirit here.
- People are our greatest resource.
- We say 'let the marketplace decide'.

3 Biggest Small Company Lies:
- We have an entrepreneurial spirit here.
- The boss is just one of the guys.
- Staying small is a conscious decision.

3 Biggest Marketing Lies:
- Immediate delivery?...No problem.
- We treat every customer as if they were our most important.
- We're going out to lunch to talk business.

3 Biggest Engineering Professor's Lies:
- Some day this course will come in handy.
- These tests are more trouble for me than they are for you.
- This is the way they do it in industry.

3 Biggest Executive Lies:
-'s just a score card.
- If it were up to me, there'd be no assigned parking spaces.
- You have to twist my arm to get me to go on a business trip.

3 Biggest undergraduate student starting Physics Lies:
- There are plenty of jobs out there for Physics graduates.
- You'll make lots of money in your proffessional career.
- The general public respect Physicists.

3 Biggest student teacher lies:
- The school will help and support you all they can.
- This teaching course is interesting and stimulating.
- Kids today are just the same as when you went to school.

3 Biggest advertising lies:
- This product will taste as good as it looks.
- You really need our product.
- If you use our product you will have sex with the same kinds of people as you see in our ad.

3 Biggest mail order lies:
- Delivery of your product will occur within 30 days of ordering it.
- If you're not satisfied with our product we will guarentee a full refund.
- We offer repair of your product free of charge with an accredited repairer in your home State.

3 Biggest retail industry lies:
- Our staff are courteous and considerate.
- We try to help you with your problem.
- You can exchange or get full refund on an item that you're not satisfied with.

3 Biggest politician lies:
- I'll be factual and to the point.
- I'll give you a straightforward answer to your question.
- The government doesn't waste taxpayers money.

3 Biggest parent lies:
- We're doing this for your own interest.
- You can have that (do that) later (when you're older).
- The family can't afford it now.

3 Biggest supermodels lies:
- Women normally look like that.
- Women should look like that.
- Fasting and dieting is good for your health.

3 Biggest beer ads lies:
- Drinking beer is for macho men only.
- You'll meet good lifelong friends drinking beer in a bar.
- Women think drunken loudmouths are sexy.

3 Biggest life lies:
- ...and they lived happily ever after.
- Dying is painless.
- Things have gotten so bad that they couldn't possibly get worse.

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