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-=[ Joke Number 1044 ]=-

 [ << ] Santa on Trial [ >>
You are accused, Mr. Santa Claus, alias Saint Nick, alias Kris Kringle, age unknown, of no fixed abode, with the following charges:

* failing to apply for landed immigrant status from Finland to the North Pole

* crossing the Canadian-USA border illegally on December 25 of each year as far back as records go

* failing to operate a union toy shop, and not paying your elves and dwarfs the minimum wage, provide paid vacations and wages at time and a half for more than 40 hour work weeks, or meeting the standards of the Worker's Compensation Boards

* failing to transmit unemployment insurance payments, income tax deductions and Canada Pension payments to the proper authorities on behalf of your employees

* you are accused of the illegal entry of millions of Canadian homes on December 25 of each year

* violating the Federal Anti-Combines Investigation Act by operating a tight monopoly

* failing to file a flight plan for your travels

* failing to equip your vehicle with seat belts or properly fitting your reindeer with emission control devises

* not declaring as taxable income the cookies and milk left for you by millions each year

* illegally competing with the Canadian Post Office, and possible breaking drug laws by administering an unauthorized drug to Rudolph to make his nose light up

* and finally, parking in a no parking zone, namely rooftops, and having no record of either a driver's or pilot's licence ever being issued to a Mister Claus in any of the ten provinces and two territories.

Faced with all these accusations and understanding their severity, have you any statement to make before I . . . wish you a . . . Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year and dismiss these charges?

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